


The Hardest Choice You Ever Had To Make

by BellarmyBlake



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Post 1x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 23:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6259837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellarmyBlake/pseuds/BellarmyBlake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Len kills Mick, he is drowning in self-hatred. Sara comforts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hardest Choice You Ever Had To Make

**Author's Note:**

> I am in way too deep with these two, because I'm writing fanfiction for them. I am very nervous about Lenny's characterization, so please tell me if you like it or not, so that I can work on it! I hope you like it!

He didn’t want to be disturbed. There was something extremely dangerous brewing inside of him, and he had to stay away from the team. He was dangerous, and too many people had died at his hands already.

Figures that Sara would be the one to find him.

She’d been waiting for him when he returned to the _Waverider_ , her hands in her pockets and a most awful expression on her face. _Pity_. He’d brushed past her, and he thought she’d understood he didn’t want to talk.

Obviously not.

He sensed more than heard her walking towards him, and he sighed. “What do you want, Sara?” he drawled.

“What makes you think I want anything, Snart?” But she sat down next to him anyway, staring out the window. He glanced at her from the corners of his eyes, and saw her face, her lips downturned in sadness. The silence stretched out between them, and Leonard allowed himself to drift off again, to drown in his self-loathing. He was such a waste of space and oxygen, he was a danger to the team, and honestly, he should have offed himself instead.

Her voice pulled him back from that dangerous precipice, however. “I know how you feel, Leonard.”

He snorted. “ _Do_ you?”

She nodded. She was still staring at the sunlit park stretched out in front of them, and when he looked at her, he caught the most heartbreaking look he’d ever seen on her face. It shocked him how much that stirred something inside of him.

(He refused to name the ‘something’. Feelings didn’t matter, didn’t help.)

“When I was in the League of Assassins, I had this great partner. He was amazing, taught me everything I know. He was the most ruthless assassin in the League, but also had a huge soft spot for me. Then one day...he just snapped. I still don’t know what happened. He came back from a mission, covered head to foot in blood...and he was different.” She sighed, and Leonard had to hold back a sarcastic remark. He didn’t see where this was going, but he was sure she had a point. She always did. “And he became a liability. Intentionally screwed up missions, got other assassins in danger, he even got one killed. Ra’s tasked me with his disposal after that. I was his partner. I adored him. But I had to kill him for the sake of the team. And I did.” She looked at him. “He was my friend, and I killed him. I killed a lot of people, Snart. I know _exactly_ how you feel.”

Leonard nodded, avoiding her eye. Of course she knew how he felt. After their first mission together, he figured out the two of them had quite a lot more in common than one might suspect. The Crook and the Assassin. _Look at us both,_ he thought, fighting the ridiculous urge to laugh, _haunted by our past, scared of the present, running from the future._ “I killed him,” he said, and he would never admit that his voice cracked. Sara looked at him, staying silent, waiting for him to continue. “He has had my back for so long. He saved me in so many ways. And I _killed_ him.” Angry at himself for showing weakness, he wiped at his eyes furiously. “He trusted me.”

“Len, I know how hard it was. And knowing you did it for the team doesn’t make it any better, I know that, too.” Sara laid her hand on his upper arm, and his head snapped up, ready to snap at her touching him. But the expression on her face made him stop, and the warmth that spread from her touch seemed to calm his pounding heart down just a touch. She was looking at him, without fear, without _pity_ , but with understanding in her eyes. “Rip didn’t choose us to make the easy choices. And you made a hard choice, the hardest choice anyone has ever had to make. And I wish you hadn’t had to.”

“He was my _friend_ ,” Leonard said, his voice weak. Sara nodded, tears sparkling in her eyes as well, and she lay her head on his shoulder. “He was my _friend_ ,” he repeated, almost growling it.

“I know,” she whispered, “I know.”

He laid his head on his arms while Sara wrapped her arms around him, and they both pretended they weren’t crying. He felt her hot tears drip onto his shoulder, though, and he pulled her just a little closer, resting a hand on hers. If anyone asked he would deny it, but in that moment, Leonard Snart felt human for the first time in a very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> **  
> _Comments and kudos feed my muse, and she's a hungry lass! If you could take a moment, it would make my day!_  
>  **


End file.
